Parenting Your Kindergartner

JUMP TO SECTION

The Phase when unfiltered words make you laugh, school drop-off makes you cry, and life becomes a stage where your kid shouts, “Look at me!”

GET READY FOR MEMORABLE STATEMENTS

By this age, a child can speak in sentences… and long, wandering monologues. But you will be amazed and entertained by all the profound and uncensored things they say, like, “How did you get the wrinkles out of your hair?” and, “You’re talking so much I can’t hear you.”

ADJUST FOR CULTURAL SHIFT: SCHOOL

This means less time for play, more early-morning alarm clocks, and a higher demand for focused attention. While kids at this age thrive on routine and predictability, they also crave opportunities to have a little unstructured play, a chance to skip and run, to throw and catch, and to use their imagination.

GIVE SOME UNDIVIDED ATTENTION

While previously a kid might have been one adorable toddler drawing the attention of multiple adults, they are now in a classroom with multiple kids—some even as cute and as smart as they are. At school, at church, or on the soccer field, on thing is true: They want you undivided attention. So give it as often as possible.

Love to Give

“Do I have your attention?”

This is the one major question your kindergartner is asking. School is a crisis. Your now-elementary-school kid is adjusting to big changes like classroom rules, lunch lines, and new routines. But the stress of change can also be a platform for discovery and growth.

Your kindergartner needs to know you see their efforts, their ideas, their accomplishments, and their failures. The best way to do that is by engaging their interests.

When you engage their interests, you…

…communicate that their ideas have value.

…establish that their efforts are significant.

…demonstrate that they are worth loving.

WAYS TO LOVE

-Schedule your day. Write down all you do for your three-year-old on a typical day, and include how much time each task takes. Now take a minute to celebrate what a good parent you really are. It will be especially helpful to revisit this list on a bad day.

-Pay attention to what your kindergartner likes. What does your child seem to enjoy the most right now?

-How are you taking time for yourself? It’s impossible to love anyone with the relentless effort a preschooler demands unless you are refueling each week. What are some ways you can take care of yourself so you are able to give your kindergartner the love they need?

-Who do you have around you supporting you this year? Family? Your Missional Community? Your DNA? Other friends?

Books to Read

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
by Judi Barrett

Miss Rumphius
by Barbara Cooney

The Day the Crayons Quit
by Drew Daywalt

Nanna Upstairs and Nanna Downstairs
by Tomie dePaola

Good as New
by Barbara Douglass

Is Your Mama a Llama?
by Deborah Guarino

Chrysanthemum
by Kevin Henkes

Waiting
by Kevin Henkes

Frances (Series)
by Russell Hoban

What Do You Do with a Tail Like This?
by Steve Jenkins

Frog and Toad (Series)
by Arnold Lobel

George and Martha
by James Marshall

Elmer
by David McKee

Little Bear (Series)
by Else Homeland Minarik

The Day Jimmy’s Boa Ate the Wash
by Trinka Hakes Noble

Magic Tree House (Series)
by Mary Pope Osborne

The Relatives Came
by Cynthia Rylant

A Sick Day for Amos McGee
by Philip C. Stead

Joseph Had a Little Overcoat
by Simms Taback

Elephant and Piggie (Series)
by Mo Willems

Milestones to Achieve

Work your kindergartner can do:

Comb hair

Start learning to tie shoes

Brush teeth (pretty well)

Learn how to make a phone call

Wash and dry hands and use toilet paper independently (not in that order)

Do homework (with help)

Sort toys and put them away

Load and unload the laundry

Help set the table

Load and unload the dishwasher

Fix a bowl of cereal (help them pour the milk)

Make the bed

Fun to Have

Toys:

Twister

Memory

Hi Ho Cherry-O

Trouble

Sorry

Checkers

Uno

Sequence for Kids

Operation

Mousetrap

Tic-Tac-Toe

Bingo

Connect 4

Kerplunk

Pie Face

Candyland

Activities:

Play-Doh

Finger paint, watercolors, or paintbrush

swing, climb, slide

Swim and play in the water

Red light, green light

Sidewalk chalk

Simon Says

Water balloons

Catch fireflies

Legos

Beanbag toss

Kid-directed play

50-piece puzzle

Marble runs

Rock, paper, scissors

Sorting games

Words to Speak

Good morning, I love you, I have noticed, keep trying, I hope you know, have fun, please, thank you, I’m really proud when, I’ve been thinking, I’m sorry, work hard, be kind, good night!

Remember your kindergartner is still learning vocabulary at a crazy rate. Here are a few ways you can help:

Talk to your kid—the more, the better.
When they talk, make eye contact.
Use school vocabulary words in everyday contexts.
Read, sing, or make up rhymes.
Join your kid in pretend play.

This year you will…

DEVELOP POSITIVE ROUTINES

Maintain a good relationship with your pediatrician, and schedule a well visit at least once per year. You can also begin to develop healthy habits for your kindergartner with a few simple words.

Say things like…

Did you wash your hands?

I love to watch your run/swim/ride your bike!

What would you like for dinner this week?

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Will you rinse these blueberries?

Will you throw the ball with me?

Kindergartners should have a few safety skills. Does your kindergartner know:

How and when to call 911?
Your address and phone number?
What do do if they get lost?
What to do if there’s a fire?
How to recognize the symbol for poison?
How to handle water around electricity?

INFORM THEM ABOUT HOW THINGS WORK (KIND OF)

Your kindergartner may have already asked some questions, and you probably weren’t ready to give a full-disclosure answer. That’s okay. In this phase, the most important thing is to give simple answers to biological questions, continue coaching privacy and personal boundaries, and keep the conversation casual.

Say things like…

Can we talk more about this another time?

Touching is never secret.

I’m so glad you asked me.

You are very special—all of you. Your feelings, your thoughts, and your body.

Can you give your sister some space?

Your friend might not want you to sit on his face.

It’s always okay to tell someone ‘no’ if you don’t want them to touch you.

If someone touches you and you don’t like it, come and tell me right away.

EXPLORE THE POSSIBILITIES OF TECHNOLOGY

Your kindergartner has probably already used a phone, a tablet, and a computer—most schools schedule some engagement with technology. But access to technology isn’t everything. Your kindergartner needs an adult to guide them as they explore all the great things they can do with digital devices.

Say things like…

Never use Google alone.

I don’t know, but we can look that up together.

You have ten more minutes and then it’s time to put the iPad away.

Let me see what you did.

You need to ask before you use the computer.

I’m texting Grandma to ask a question.

Alexa doesn’t always know what we are asking.

PROVOKE DISCOVERY

Your kindergartner is quickly learning the habits and routines that make your family work. Make Sunday gatherings and Missional Community life a priority, but don’t let it be the only time you talk about faith. Talk about God as you go about your day.

Say things like…

What did Jesus do when he went to Zacchaeus’ house? (Talk about what your kindergartner learns on Sunday.)

You can trust God no matter what.

Are you scared? Let’s talk to God about it.

Be rich in good deeds. Be generous and willing to share. (Repeat simple Bible verses.)

Isn’t that wonderful? Let’s thank God for it.

Let’s make dinner for Mrs. Paula. She doesn't feel well.

You need to make the wise choice.

I’m sorry I responded that way. Mommy/Daddy needs Jesus just like you do.