Parenting Your 2 Year Old

JUMP TO SECTION

The Phase when nobody’s on time, everything’s a mess, and one eager toddler will insist, “I can do it.”

EXPECT TO BE LATE

Maybe you had to wait for your toddler to “do it myself” (just try and stop them). Or maybe they impressively filled a clean diaper just as you got into the car. Whatever the reason, this phase will make even the most punctual adult miss the mark occasionally.

LOOK FORWARD TO A FEW FASHION STATEMENTS

Expect a few mismatched outfits, magic marker tattoos, sticker collages, and other various states of creative expression. In this phase, you will choose not only your battles, but also which messes will just have to be tolerated.

THEIR STRUGGLE FOR INDEPENDENCE HAS BEGUN

Your first clue might be your toddler’s three new favorite words: “me,” “myself,” and “I.” Just remember, by letting them do some things “myself,” they’re not only learning new skills, they’re also developing the confidence they need in order to move to the next phase.

Love to Give

“Am I able?”

This is the one major question your two-year-old is asking during this season of changing ability. This is a year filled with uncertainty, imperfection, and even failure as they struggle to keep up with all their newly developing skills.

The best way to answer that question is by embracing their physical needs.

When you embrace their physical needs, you…

…communicate that they are safe.

…establish that the world can be trusted.

…demonstrate that they are worth loving.

Ways to show love:

-Schedule your day. Write down all you do for your two-year-old on a typical day, and include how much time each task takes. Now take a minute to celebrate what a good parent you really are. It will be especially helpful to revisit this list on a bad day.

-Pay attention to what your two-year-old likes. What does your toddler seem to enjoy the most right now?

-How are you taking time for yourself? It’s impossible to love anyone with the relentless effort a toddler demands unless you are refueling each week. What are some ways you can take care of yourself so you are able to give your two-year-old the love they need?

-Who do you have around you supporting you this year? Family? Your Missional Community? Your DNA? Other friends?

Books to Read

Freight Train
By Donald Crews

Llama, Llama (Series)
By Anna Dewdney

Everybody Poops
By Taro Gomi

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie
By Laura Joffe Numeroff

The Snowy Day
By Ezra Jack Keats

A Fly Went By
By Mike McClintock

Blueberries for Sal
By Robert McCloskey

Are You My Mother?
By P.D. Eastman

Go, Dog. Go!
By P.D. Eastman

Even Firefighters Go to the Potty
By Wendy and Naomi Wax

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
By Dr. Seuss

Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site
By Sheri Duskey Rinker

Little Blue Truck
By Alice Schertle

The Foot Book
By Dr. Seuss

Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You?
By Dr. Seuss

Duck on a Bike
By David Shannon

Sheep in a Jeep
By Nancy E. Shaw

Where the Wild Things Are
By Maurice Sendak

Milestones to Achieve

Every kid needs work over time to give them significance.

Pick up a toy and put it away

Hold a sippy cup

Drink from a straw

Take the trash to the trash can

Follow two-step instructions

Help fill a pet’s food dish

Help as you dress them
(by holding out arms, legs, or feet)

Undress themselves

Feed themselves

Clean up spills

Sleep in a toddler bed
(most of the time)

Use the potty
(maybe)

Fun to Have

Toys:

Trucks, trains, and dolls

Jumbo Crayons

Peg Puzzles

Bead Mazes

Pounding Bench

Mega Blocks

Riding and Scooting Toys

A Soft Ball for Rolling and Throwing

Peg Puzzles

Play-Doh

Finger Paint

Play Kitchen

Alphabet Letters

Activities:

Go to the park

Sing “Itsy-Bitsy-Spider”

Blow bubbles

Push a swing

Roll a ball

Do a silly dance

Let them “hide”
(Pretend not to notice that 3-foot-tall giggling lump behind your curtains.)

Words to Speak

Good morning!, I love you, you’re okay, you did it!, I will be back, please, thank you, excuse me, I’m sorry, you’re welcome, good night, be gentle.

Improving your child’s vocabulary will help them in the phases to come. Here are a few ways you can help.

Talk to your toddler—the more, the better.
Use facial expressions and body language often.
Repeat what they say, and add words. (When they say “truck,” you say, “Would you like to play with your truck?”
Give your toddler options. (“Do you want an apple or a banana?”)

This year you will…

INTRODUCE THEM TO THEIR BODY

So your child will discover their body and define privacy.

There’s a good chance your two-year-old is becoming more aware of their body and the bodies of others. Use this time to lay a foundation for future conversations by simply talking about bodies in a positive way.

Say things like…

“That’s your nose. Those are your eyes. That’s your vagina/penis.”

*Help your child learn the correct names of body parts—experts suggest that learning proper words can protect your kid from potential harm as well as create a positive view of their body.

“No, girls don’t have a penis.”

*If your child notices that someone’s body is different than their own, talk about the differences.

BEGIN CREATING TECHNOLOGICAL RESPONSIBILITY

One advantage to technology is that you probably already have a resident expert who navigates a tablet faster than some adults. But since two-year-olds are drawn to a screen, it’s also time to have a few conversations about digital devices.

Say things like…

“No juice by the computer.”

“Tablets don’t go in the bathtub.”

“A phone is not a hammer.”

“Let’s turn off the TV now.” (Two-year-olds don’t need to watch a full season of Sesame Street in one sitting.)

“Is there anyone out there who can relate?” (Use technology to connect to other adults.)

DEMONSTRATE AUTHENTIC FAITH

Your two-year-old listens to your words. So this phase is the perfect time to begin talking, singing, and reading out loud with your toddler about faith. Begin by simply incorporating faith into your daily routines.

Say things like…

“God made you. God loves you. Jesus wants to be your friend forever.”

“Jesus loves me.” (Sing songs together.)

“God, thank you for… God, please help us… (Pray aloud while you are with your two-year-old.)

“Let’s read about how God made the world. Let’s read about Christmas. Let’s read about Easter.” (Read a few Bible story books—the kind with really good pictures.)