Parenting Your 1st Grader

JUMP TO SECTION

The Phase when unfiltered words make you laugh, school drop-off makes you cry, and life becomes a stage where your kid shouts, “Look at me!”

GET READY FOR MEMORABLE STATEMENTS

Your child is now a sophisticated conversationalist—at least in their mind. With one year of school under their belt, they are quickly becoming more confident in their opinions and observations. You may be amazed and entertained by all the profound and uncensored things they say, like, “I stink on the stairs when I eat brown beans.”

ADJUST FOR CULTURAL SHIFT: SCHOOL

It’s only the second year, and your kid is still adjusting to less playtime, more early-morning alarm clocks, and an even tighter demand for focused attention. It’s still important to give after-school opportunities for a little unstructured play, a chance to skip and run, to throw and catch, and to use their imagination.

GIVE SOME UNDIVIDED ATTENTION

The average first grade class has twenty kids—some even as cute and as smart as your own. But first graders are hungry for individualized adult attention and approval. So when it’s the end of the day and your first grader keeps asking, “look at me,” give them your attention as freely and as often as possible.

Love to Give

“Do I have your attention?”

This is the one major question your first grader is asking. The schedule may be picking up pace—from bus rides to recreational sports to after-school programs. But with all the increasing opportunities to try new things, don’t miss what your first grader needs most.

Your first grader needs to know you see their efforts, their ideas, their accomplishments, and their failures. The best way to do that is by engaging their interests.

When you engage their interests, you…

…communicate that their ideas have value.

…establish that their efforts are significant.

…demonstrate that they are worth loving.

WAYS TO LOVE

-Schedule your day. Write down all you do for your first grader on a typical day, and include how much time each task takes. Now take a minute to celebrate what a good parent you really are. It will be especially helpful to revisit this list on a bad day.

-Pay attention to what your first grader likes. What does your child seem to enjoy the most right now?

-How are you taking time for yourself? It’s impossible to love anyone with the relentless effort a first grader demands unless you are refueling each week. What are some ways you can take care of yourself so you are able to give your kid the love they need?

-Who do you have around you supporting you this year? Family? Your Missional Community? Your DNA? Other friends?

Books to Read

Mrs. Nelson is Back
by Harry G. Allard Jr. and James Marshall

Flat Stanley (Series)
by Jeff Brown

Nana Upstairs and Nana Downstairs
by Tomie dePaola

Waiting
by Kevin Henkes

The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore
by William Joyce

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
by C.S. Lewis

Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle (Series)
by Betty MacDonald

Enemy Pie
by Derek Munson

The Book With No Pictures
by B.J. Novak

Magic Tree House (Series)
by Mary Pope Osborne

The Dot
by Peter H. Reynolds

Unique Monique
by Maria Rousaki

Poem Collections
by Shel Silverstein

A Bad Case of Stripes
by David Shannon

Jumanji
by Chris Van Allsburg

Ira Sleeps Over
by Bernard Waber

Nate the Great (Series)
by Marjorie Weinman Sharmat

Charlotte’s Web
by E.B. White

Elephant and Piggie (Series)
by Mo Willems

The Velveteen Rabbit
by Margery Williams

Milestones to Achieve

Work your first grader can do:

Tie shoes (pretty well)

Brush teeth independently

Bathe (may still need help rinsing their hair)

Do homework (with assistance)

Write cards and thank you notes

Sort toys and put them away

Make a PB&J sandwich

Fold and put away towels (if “away” is somewhere 2 feet off the ground)

Put clothes on hangers

Take care of pets

Bring in the mail

Refill the toilet paper

Fun to Have

Toys:

Hi Ho! Cherry-O

Trouble

Sorry

Checkers

Chess

Chinese Checkers

Uno, War, Old Maid

Operation

Mousetrap

Tic-Tac-Toe

Dominos

Bingo

Connect 4

Spot It!

Activities:

Art with markers or tempura paint

Swing, climb, and slide

Swim and play in the water

Red light, green light

Water balloons

Chinese jump rope

Catch fireflies

Leapfrog

Balloon stomps

Relay races

Human Knots

Legos

Beanbag toss

Marble runs

Piñata with candy

50-piece puzzle

Simon Says

Nature walks

Words to Speak

Good morning, I love you, I have noticed, keep trying, I hope you know, have fun, please, thank you, I’m really proud when, I’ve been thinking, I’m sorry, work hard, be kind, good night!

Remember your first grader is still learning vocabulary at a crazy rate. Here are a few ways you can help:

Talk to your kid—the more, the better.
When they talk, make eye contact.
Use school vocabulary words in everyday contexts.
Read, sing, or make up rhymes.
Talk about new words when they see or hear them.

This year you will…

DEVELOP POSITIVE ROUTINES

Maintain a good relationship with your pediatrician, and schedule a well visit at least once per year. You can also begin to develop healthy habits for your first grader with a few simple words.

Say things like…

Let’s go on a hike.

I love to watch your run/swim/ride your bike!

What would you like for dinner this week?

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Let’s drink some more water.

Can you cut out the biscuits?

First graders should have a few safety skills. Does your first grader know:

How and when to call 911?
Your address and phone number?
What do do if they get lost?
What to do if there’s a fire?
How to recognize the symbol for poison?
How to handle water around electricity?

INFORM THEM ABOUT HOW THINGS WORK (KIND OF)

Your first grader may be asking some questions—or they may not. It’s up to you to determine just how much they are ready to hear when it comes to details about sex. In this phase, the most important thing is to give simple answers, continue coaching personal boundaries and keep the conversations casual.

Say things like…

Can we talk more about this another time?

Touching is never secret.

I’m so glad you asked me.

God made your body, and we want to take good care of it.

Can you give your friend some space?

It’s always okay to tell someone ‘no’ if you don’t want them to touch you.

If someone touches you and you don’t like it, come and tell me right away.

EXPLORE THE POSSIBILITIES OF TECHNOLOGY

Your first grader is gaining digital proficiency every day—most schools schedule some engagement with technology. But, even though your Kdi is a digital native, they still need an adult guide as they continue to explore all the great things they can do with technology.

Say things like…

Never use Google alone.

I don’t know, but we can look that up together.

You have ten more minutes and then it’s time to put the iPad away.

Let me see what you did.

You need to ask before you use the computer.

I’m texting Grandma to ask a question.

Alexa doesn’t always know what we are asking.

PROVOKE DISCOVERY

Your first grader may be starting to read and enjoy books. So, this is a great year to purchase a kid’s Bible. Look for one that is the full text, in an easy-to-read translation like the NIrV. You will need to read it to them for now. Continue having other faith conversations as you go about your days together.

Say things like…

the Bible has two parts, the Old Testament and the New Testament.

You can trust God no matter what.

Are you scared? Let’s talk to God about it.

A friend loves at all times. He is there to help when trouble comes. (Repeat simple Bible verses.)

Isn’t that wonderful? Let’s thank God for it.

Let’s take a new book to your friend who stayed home sick today.

You need to make the wise choice.

I’m sorry I responded that way. Mommy/Daddy needs Jesus just like you do.